America’s Most Worthless “Ally.”
In the spirit of President Herber Hoover’s half-serious statement that “The President ought to be allowed to hang two men every year without giving any reason or explanation,” Clubbeaux would like to propose a series of New Year’s Resolutions that each year America cut all but the barest essential ties with whichever country’s deemed to be our most worthless “ally” that year.
That the first country axed needs to be Saudi Arabia, of course, goes without saying. That needs to happen yesterday. Saudi Arabia’s about as worthwhile an “ally” to the U.S. as Draco Malfoy is to Harry Potter. Nevertheless, Clubbeaux nominates this year’s Most Worthless “Ally” to be South Korea.
Here’s an editorial cartoon from the Chosun Ilbo, Korea’s most widely-read daily newspaper. The picture depicts Korean president Kim Dae-jung caught between America and North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il. Kim Jong-il is labeled “Axis of Evil,“ and Uncle Sam is labeled “the Embodiment of Evil,” a label given to the United States by one of President Kim’s top lieutenants.
Today’s news is that South Korea opposes North Korea’s nuclear arms program, but criticizes America’s efforts to quash the North’s nuclearization.
“We will work closely with our allies to solve this Korean peninsula problem,” says President Kim Dae Jung, “and we will firmly oppose North Korea’s nuclear arms program, but no matter what, we will pursue a peaceful solution. We cannot go to war with North Korea, and we can’t go back to the cold war system and extreme confrontation.”
This is Tweety Bird thumbing its nose at Sylvester while sitting between the paws of a huge bulldog, then urging the bulldog to get rid of Sylvester via “peaceful” means. “Peaceful solution,” as in all South Koreans joining hands and singing “Kum Ba Yah” to their Northern cousins?
Korean “students” protesting all things American at a July 27 demonstration in Seoul. Demonstrating the risks they’re willing to take for their strong beliefs Korean protesters cover their faces with masks to avoid identification, which might prevent them from obtaining a visa to get a graduate degree from an American university.
First question: Why is North Korean nuclear proliferation America’s concern? Answer: It isn’t. What do we care if they lob nukes into China? So what? We “care” about South Korea and Japan, why I don’t know. All Japan’s ever done for us is bomb Pearl Harbor and make money off of exporting to America via government-subsidized production. The reason the Japanese government can afford to subsidize Japanese business, of course, is that we pay for their national defense instead of expecting the Japanese to do it themselves.
But I’m really stumped when it comes to why we should give a damn about South Korea. If anything they’re more aggressive now about undercutting American products with government-subsidized exports, but anti-Americanism is much more pronounced in South Korea.
Take the World Cup. The American players were booed everytime they touched the ball, which didn’t happen to the opponents in Korea’s other matches. Stadium officials confiscated dozens of banners with death threats and 9/11 insults. American fans at the match were kept under tight police protection.
Then there was the little affair on February 19, days after a top lieutenant of President Kim Dae-jung called George W. Bush “the embodiment of evil” when a group of 20 anti-American terrorists wielding steel pipes seized control of the offices of the American Chamber of Commerce in Seoul.
The attackers were so brazen that they videotaped the event and posted it on the Internet at ohmynews.com. The video shows them threatening AmCham’s executive director Tammy Overby hostage and her staff with metal pipes and marching them out of the office.
Then the students got down to work. The tossed computers into a pile against the door and smashed a huge plate glass window. In the words of
International Herald-Tribune reporter Don Kirk, the office was “trashed.”
However, the Korean courts and press did not see the act as anything to raise a fuss about. The vandals were not given two years of probation and no criminal records and were not required to pay damages. The
Korea Herald blamed Bush’s policies for the attack and called the U.S. embassy’s request for the names of the perpetrators an “overreaction.”
One of a slew of Korean anti-American bestsellers post-9/11. This one, titled Gangster America, follows the standard line in blaming the attacks on America itself.
Why South Koreans Hate Americans.
Anti-Americanism has been rising in South Korea,
reports The New York Times, especially among the young – precisely those who have benefited the most from America’s protection and largesse lo these past 40 years.
Angry demonstrations against the American military here are revealing a broader strain of anti-American feelings, especially among young people, the
Times reports:
Many South Koreans resent what they see as American condescension, from an era that younger people here do not even remember. These days, South Korea has Asia’s second-most-dynamic economy, after China’s. Half the people here in their 20’s are in college or have degrees, and the country has such large foreign currency reserves that it doles out foreign aid.
South Koreans can rattle off a string of American slights and insults: a Winter Olympics medal taken away from a South Korean skater, a joke in poor taste on an American television show, a lukewarm reception given their president in Washington last spring and the daily friction of 37,000 American troops in one of the world’s most densely populated nations.
If that isn’t the most inane, childish, immature, self-obsessed, ignorantly petulant set of things over which to be protesting the country footing the bill for 37,000 soldiers allowing you to maintain your affluent lifestyle, I don’t know what is. A non-American referee’s decision at some obscure sport everybody only hears about at the Olympics? A “lukewarm” reception given to yet one more minor country’s president coming to Washington to rattle his tin cup in our faces? Then there’s this load of crap:
“It is absolutely necessary to eradicate the toadyism toward the United States,” Chun Chu Song, an economics professor with an American doctorate, wrote last week in the daily JoonAng Ilbo (Korean for “Anti-American Tripe Written By American-Educated Koreans”). “A conference in Korea is considered enlightening if a famous American scholar attends, no matter what he says.”
Given that South Koreans contribute a tiny fraction of what Americans contribute to world culture, science and intellectual development, and do so under the umbrella of American protection and usually with – as in Mr. Chun’s case – the benefit of American educations, I’d say Mr. Chun’s on the money here. I sure can’t imagine any reason for a famous American scholar to attend any conference in Korea except to get a free vacation out of it. Note also that Mr. Chun was careful to get in his own personally-beneficial stint toadying to America’s superior education
before he starts slamming all things American, as someone might find him an ignorant, hypocritical little asswipe for spouting this drivel in Cambridge or New Haven.
Korean vandals trashing the offices of the American Chamber of Commerce in Seoul. Korean officials refused to punish the criminals, labeling American requests for justice an “overreaction.”
“Tonight, Tuesday night, New Year’s Eve, organizers hope to convert Seoul’s traditionally festive downtown New Year’s Eve into a vigil and an anti-American protest attended by one million people,” the
Times reports. “Earlier this month, similar mass vigils helped elect Roh Moo Hyun as president. Mr. Roh, a liberal labor lawyer who will take office on Feb. 25, won a much higher percentage of the vote from people under age 40 than from older people.”
Now here comes the kicker:
“Now, though, recognizing that the country’s security and economy depend in large measure on the American ties, he is asking protesters to use ‘self restraint:’ ‘To take care of the North Korean nuclear problem is a matter of national survival.’”
Eerily reminiscent of another virtually worthless American “ally,” Germany: Get elected by bashing America, all the while knowing that without America you’re toast. But don’t try to tell the people that, oh no, bash away until the day after elections when you can safely start talking about the need for constructive dialogue and improved relations, which usually involve demanding more protection, money, concessions, whatever from America.
For an enlightening
pictoral gallery of South Koreans burning American flags, spray-painting American flags on walkways at universities, celebrating anti-American rap songs and bestselling books, praising Osama bin-Laden and other expressions of friendship from our South Korean “ally” click here.
Be sure to read about the
Hate U.S.A. festivals, family affairs with an American flag shooting gallery for the Korean leaders of tomorrow, balloons with ridiculous anti-American slogans and rappers singing the ever-popular “Fuck U.S.A.” song. Bring the wife and kids.
The
Times interviewed a certain Kim Hyo Jin, a 26-year-old university student, was seeking participants for the New Year’s Eve anti-America rally. “When we ask whether these people are protecting us or not, the answer would be no,” she said, displaying photos of two girls killed by an American military vehicle earlier in the year. Ms. Kim did not display the photos of hundreds of other innocent bystanders killed in Seoul traffic accidents, however. Can you imagine that? A whole country of Korean drivers? I’ve got any amount of money to say that statistically American military drivers are the safest drivers on the road there.
“Many young South Koreans do not understand why American troops are stationed here,” the
Times says, which shows how responsibly Korean schools teach Korean history if they don’t explain that without tens of thousands of Americans dying in the Korean War the whole place is one big North Korea.
But if it’s any consolation to them Clubbeaux is wondering the exact same thing. Pull all the troops out, make ‘em pay for their own defense like a responsible country would, strip ties to the diplomatic minimum and let the ingrates find a peaceful solution with North Korea themselves. Let Tweety Bird negotiate with Sylvester on his own.
